This is off-brand
Mom, you might want to skip this one
Preface: I typically don’t write about pop culture, let alone a TV show that some describe as ‘smut’. But it’s been running through my head, so here we are.
Trigger warning: I’m about to talk about a TV show with ample gay sex scenes.
Spoilers: This post doesn’t explain the show or its plot arc, so it does NOT have any major spoilers!
Sometime between Christmas and New Year of 2025, my brain was overtaken by a gay hockey show: Heated Rivalry. I can’t remember the last time that I was this fixated on anything. I have never had a fan girl experience (sorry NSYNC and Backstreet Boys, but you never captured my heart), until now. I have watched the show 3 times already and the last episode 6 times (this is embarrassing to admit, but it paints the picture of how it has possessed me). This uncharacteristic behavior has triggered much self-psychoanalysis as to why I feel this way, because it seems 1) not to be a unique experience and 2) antithetical to my interests (or more accurately, antithetical to my disinterests).
Why I was blind-sided by my obsession: I don’t like ‘romance’ — in books, shows, or movies. This show is based off of a romance novel, and I can almost guarantee you that I would not enjoy the book (I could be wrong, but that’s my guess). I find most all romance insufferable and horribly contrived. I have such a passionate distaste for romantic comedies that I have watched maybe 1 or 2 since the year 2000. It is simply not my genre. And yet.
This show is clearly speaking to hetero women, based on the ratings and intense fan outpouring from this group (myself included). I have several ideas as to why this show appeals so much to women, when the two protagonists are gay men.
Read on for my takes.
The sex scenes feature two bodies that (most) hetero women find attractive AND the scenes lack a body that they can relate to.
There is something about the absence of a female body in the intimate scenes that feels freeing — I can enjoy the passion, longing, etc, without any point of comparison to myself. There is no body against which to judge my own (in appearance or otherwise). There is no power dynamic implied by larger societal biases or tropes. There is no female body as an object. Just two attractive bodies that are tangled in desire. There is also abundant consent — it feels safe.
Another thing about the sex scenes — they seem so much better than most sex scenes on TV.
By ‘better’ I mean whole-hearted. I’m not sure if this is due to total buy-in from the actors, maybe real chemistry between them, or excellent intimacy coordination, but whatever it was, it worked. They showed as much as they could, which is why it is considered ‘smutty’, but what they were doing required a lot more acting skill then doing a bit more or a bit less. Also, to be honest, I am tired of the same tired hetero sex scenes that completely lack any believable passion and are often downright boring (both parties magically climax simultaneously after 1 minute…eye roll).
Of note, some folks may be shocked to see so much graphic gay sex. Personally, after listening for the Savage Lovecast for years (not recently, but in years past), there was simply nothing shocking about the sex scenes. I guess I mention this to say that if your sensibility is rocked by this show, I recommend diversifying the voices you listen to/read about, etc.
On a similar note, the kissing. Wow.
The protagonists are highly masculine (professional hockey players), yet they show beautiful vulnerability and emotion.
There is simply a dearth of this type of behavior displayed by males in the popular media. I imagine I am not the only person craving demonstrations of masculine vulnerability in our culture at large. I will add it wasn’t just the vulnerability, but the tenderness and longing and blooming love too. Emotionally unavailable men and toxic masculinity are…not hot.
The show fundamentally rejoices in love (queer love!) — perhaps at the expense of being realistic…it is still a romance after all.
I would argue that with 2025’s onslaught of horrible, non-stop bad news, the arrival of something apologetically enjoyable was much needed, and for those of us that fell hard for this show, it was a huge dopamine boost that provided some counteraction to the creeping experience of America’s deterioration.
The artistic choices of the show were *chef’s kiss*.
The lighting, the angles, the cinematography, the music — it was all really well done and elevated the show.
The actors were essentially unknown, then hit the ball out of the park.
The actor playing Shane captures the character’s neurodivergence really well. But I think the prize goes to Connor Storrie, who through artful facial expressions conveys heaps of emotion. Also he learned Russian for this role?! Incredible. His backside? Legendary.
Most of the parents in this show support their gay children and exemplify what we all desire in our parents: love & acceptance without judgement.
Okay, okay, I feel as though I could go on and on as to why I enjoyed this show, but I will cut myself off!!! I think that is enough analysis for one day. Thus concludes my tangent into popular culture. Regularly scheduled programming will resume shortly. If you made it this far, thanks for reading!
Recently Finished*: The Frozen River by Ariel Lawhon
*Reminder that book links are affiliate links to Bookshop.org, which supports independent bookstores and is a GREAT alternative to big chain retailers.*
Recent internet search of note: Stupid Canadian Wolf Bird sticker
iykyk
yup you just outlined my exact experience watching HR. what an incredible show 🥹 the girls and the gays are so lucky
Yes to all of this! I also love the awareness this show is bringing to the toxic masculinity in hockey. As someone was grew deeply entrenched in the hockey world (dated hockey players, brother was drafted to the OHL) I am obsessed with the stories of former hockey players coming forward saying this show rocked their world. It is so encouraging to see the outpouring of support from the community, news outlets, and former teammates as these people come forward. Hopefully this a know better do better moment and the start of a culture shift for hockey culture.
Bringing this back to books - We Breed Lions by Rick Westhead came out in November. It does a deep dive into the toxic culture of hockey in Canada. It’s high on my to read list!